Monday, April 13, 2015

Losing Nothing: A lesson on trust

"He is always doing something- the very best thing, the thing we ourselves would certainly choose if we knew the end from the beginning. He is at work to bring us to our full glory." Elisabeth Elliot

Things occur that interrupt our lives and catch us unaware.  They pose questions we do not have answers to and our understanding lacks.  We feel uncertain, confused, scared and dare I say completely lost.

Throughout my earlier years, I learned to trust in myself and I thought I was ruling my life quite well.   It was at that point I was pulled out from the shadows, chaos, mystic fortune telling and self-sufficiency. I choose to follow God but trusting in Him was another story.

To trust God has been a difficult journey for me because the truth is I wanted a different life.  That does not mean I have been given a bad deck of cards, nor should this be confused with being ungrateful. My life is beautiful, significant and humility weighs on my shoulders. It just means that what I thought I wanted never unfolded and where God has taken me has been very unexpected.

For several years I had believed my plans were better.  By now, I pray this lie has died within me. To assume that I know better than God is not putting faith in God, but dangerously taking my life into my own hands and denying myself from the very best He offers.

I kept my grip so tight to what I concluded was right.  I had fought, I had swore, I had broke my vows to God until I was pinned down by love Himself.  Only after the battle did I stop running, loosen my hands and relinquish control. It is in the wrestle that God revealed His heart and proved Himself once again. For this my gratitude is an understatement and I am relived that I didn't receive what I had planned but now live a life ruled in His love.
Faith does not demand that God always explain Himself.  It does not demand a reason for the why "this" happened and the why "that" didn't happen.

Faith doesn't demand its own way but surrenders like an eagle during a storm. Never once does the eagle flap their wings to struggle through harsh wind and powerful rain.  They open their wings to the grace of the air that rises them above the whirlwind. It is the very tempest that carries them.

Of course because of mercy we may find revelations to life's difficult interruptions, but trust more times than not will require us to hold unanswered questions. That place of uncertainty can be heart wrenching and those days are long.  Nonetheless on the worst days He unchangeably remains fully present working messes into miracles. It is in all our "why" questions that God purposes to draw us closer to himself.  Even if we don't find the answers, we undoubtedly find Him.

If we knew the end from the beginning on the pages of our lives, I don't believe we would fight or wrestle or demand our own way at all. Wouldn't we just open our wings and allow ourselves to be carried by the hands that made us?  Wouldn't we surrender to Him who makes us still today?

The very best thing is not what we will do in His name or do for His name, it is who we become in His name. My discovery in surrender is we lose absolutely nothing.  We only stand to gain what was always meant to be. That is the glory.

1 comment:

  1. Absolutely! So needed to hear this. Love you.