"He is always doing something- the very best thing, the thing we ourselves would certainly choose if we knew the end from the beginning. He is at work to bring us to our full glory." Elisabeth Elliot
Throughout my earlier years, I learned to trust in myself and I thought I was ruling my life quite well. It was at that point I was pulled out from the shadows, chaos, mystic fortune telling and self-sufficiency. I choose to follow God but trusting in Him was another story.
For several years I had believed my plans were better. By now, I pray this lie has died within me. To assume that I know better than God is not putting faith in God, but dangerously taking my life into my own hands and denying myself from the very best He offers.
I kept my grip so tight to what I concluded was right. I had fought, I had swore, I had broke my vows to God until I was pinned down by love Himself. Only after the battle did I stop running, loosen my hands and relinquish control. It is in the wrestle that God revealed His heart and proved Himself once again. For this my gratitude is an understatement and I am relived that I didn't receive what I had planned but now live a life ruled in His love.
Faith doesn't demand its own way but surrenders like an eagle during a storm. Never once does the eagle flap their wings to struggle through harsh wind and powerful rain. They open their wings to the grace of the air that rises them above the whirlwind. It is the very tempest that carries them.
Of course because of mercy we may find revelations to life's difficult interruptions, but trust more times than not will require us to hold unanswered questions. That place of uncertainty can be heart wrenching and those days are long. Nonetheless on the worst days He unchangeably remains fully present working messes into miracles. It is in all our "why" questions that God purposes to draw us closer to himself. Even if we don't find the answers, we undoubtedly find Him.